Self-Care is Not Selfish: The 4 F’s

Fear vs. Fact

We should be our own top cheerleader; however, it seems we are more often our own worst critic. We want to try something or go somewhere or change, but we talk ourselves out of it. And there are 4 F’s that often are the culprit.

Fear vs. Fact

We set up reasons, beliefs, judgments about why we can’t do the thing we want. I will be the only one who ______; everyone will be judging me; they will know that I have never been here/done this before and think I am ridiculous. Or we set up hurdles we need to clear first — If I achieve _________, THEN I can ___________. The achievement, though, is a huge hurdle to clear and one we know we probably won’t….or, even worse, it’s a hurdle that we need the _____ in order to help us clear.

How often are these facts rather than fears we put up in our own way? Why do we get in our own way? And think about something we do already. If someone new came, would we treat them the way that we believe we will be treated? Are these belief systems facts or simply fears to keep us from acting?


The big fear is fear of failure. I will buy this course or try this class or go to this event, and I will fail. I will put myself out there; others will know about it, and it might not work out.

True….BUT, it might also work out just fine or even better than fine! It might be awesome and a huge success. Why do we fear the worst instead of hope for the best?

Plus, we all fail. The most successful people in the world are probably also those who have failed the most. Think about those memoirs you have read or the documentaries about people who have achieved greatness. How often did they fall flat on their face as well? It was still part of their journey and a part of their learning. Failure is still progress. We learn; we grow, and we try something else.


Part of trying something else, though, is forgiving ourselves. Forgiving ourselves for previous times when we let fear rule, for when we failed and blamed ourselves and shamed ourselves, for when we bought something with great intentions and didn’t follow through…’s ok. It was part of the journey, but that doesn’t mean you can never pursue another idea or dream or thought.

You won’t get there if you don’t start.
If you start, you may fail.
But you are also moving forward….and….you just might succeed!

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I help busy career and family-focused individuals feel stronger by putting themselves back on their priority list and into their schedules. I value community and safe yoga, laid-back and heart-forward practices. 500 E-RYT (Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher) through Yoga Alliance with over 500 hours of accredited training and 2,500 hours of leading yoga and meditation for my community. Online Yoga Concierge, Owner: You, Yourself, and Yoga in, Kirksville, MO

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